It was a relaxing day at the pool for my roommate, Neil and I...At first. We were swimming, and being silly in the pool. We tend to act like children in the pool, and I guess it's because we are just so happy to have a pool that we get lost in our childhood love for the water. Either way, we were splashing around, making the usual amount of noise you would hear at a pool, nothing to loud or crazy.
Intro: The Blonde Bombshell. That's what I call her. A woman who lives down the hall from us, with blonde hair, quite the chubby figure, and a need to wear way too much perfume. She also likes to wear outfits that do not belong on someone of her size, like, short summer dresses, and wedge heels. Since the day we moved in, I knew something was off about her, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly. The day at the pool gave me quite a glimpse as to what it is.
So Neil and I were swimming, as I said. The Blonde Bombshell came out to sit on one of the lounge chairs and started talking to Neil. I tried to ignore her, but Neil is such a nice person, that he will listen to anyone talk forever...She proceeded to tell him that he was so skinny that he looked sick. She asked him numerous times why he is so skinny. I've noticed that she will ask inappropriate questions like a child would, and tends to ask you "why?" on everything that you say. So Neil politely said he didn't think he was that skinny, and on that all went for a few minutes. Then randomly, after sitting on the chair watching us swim and talk for what seemed like forever, she got up and started walking to the apartment building entrance. As she walked toward the door she said vehemently to us, "You guys should really keep the noise down, your voices really carry and people can hear everything you're saying." Now, I am the kind of person that when told to do or not to do something that someone has no authority over, gets very angry very fast, and will in turn do that thing they say not to even more. So I said, "Well, it's not nighttime, so we have every right to talk, considering we are not being excessively loud." She said, "Why don't you guys just relax instead of splashing around so much?" I said, "Well we don't have to just because you told us to, so byeeeee!" And with that, she flounced toward the door and said nothing else. The few other people out in the pool area looked at us like, wow what was her problem? And we couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Of course Neil and I continued on with our splashing and talking.
About a week later, I had my good friend, Belle, over to swim with Neil and I. Things once again started out normal, and we were having a fine time, swimming and laughing. Suddenly, the Blonde Bomshell appeared. She seriously must have been waiting for someone to come out to the pool, so she could come downstairs and talk with them, or make their lives hell...She promptly said hello and asked us all our names. Neil and Belle answered with their names, and I just said, "Grace." I didn't want her to know my real name. She told us her name is Stephanie and started blabbing on about random things, and we all decided that we should just go back up the apartment, because we didn't want to deal with it. We said we had to go, and left the area. About 20 minutes later, we really wanted to get back in the pool so we snuck downstairs again to see if she was still there. She wasn't, so we got back in the pool. And wouldn't you know it, like clockwork, she was right back down there as soon as she heard us outside again...
"I just made out with a Mexican painter on the 3rd floor!" Yes, people, that's what she said as soon as she came outside. Um, ok... "I don't even know his name but I just walked up to him while he was painting one of the apartments.." It was so random that it was hard not to laugh. We all just kind of shrugged and let the moment pass. Stephanie then asked us what we all do for a living, and we just told her we are actors, and she went through her series of "Why?" questions, and when it got quiet again she looked at Belle and said, "If you're an actress you should lose some weight because you won't get any jobs looking like that." What the fuck did she just say?? As if SHE is skinny and pretty? Are you fucking kidding me? Neil and I immediately told her that it was not a nice thing for her to say which she basically ignored. In hopes that she would soon leave, we stayed in the pool while listening to her talk about her ex, who was Middle Eastern, and how he cheated on her, and how she was on disability leave from her job with Delta Airlines and blah blah blah...Once again, out of nowhere, Stephanie targeted Belle. She stopped smiling, looked at her as if extremely angry and said, "Did you cheat with my ex? 'Cause if you did, I would kill you. Seriously. I would kill you." Ok, shit was starting to seemingly get a little out of hand. We all looked stunned I'm sure. I remember saying something about the fact that it was really not cool that she would even think of saying something like that especially since Belle didn't even know her ex, and we once again decided to leave the pool area. She acted as though nothing had even happened, and as we gathered our things and made our way to the door, she followed us! We were a little uneasy as she hurried to catch up with us, not knowing what she was going to do. As we got into the lobby, a man in a wheelchair was waiting for the elevator. With no regard for this man, Stephanie said loudly, "That guy right there is handicapped!" Talk about random. At this point, I am thinking, oh my God, why us? Why do we have to be stuck near such a crazy person? Needless to say, we took the stairs...
The next week I went to complain to the landlord. I explained that we were uncomfortable with the things she was saying to us, and that she constantly followed us outside every time we went swimming. The landlord explained that The Blonde Bombshell has lived in this building for almost 20 years, and has mental instabilities. She also said that she's had many complaints over the years and the police have been called SEVERAL times! When they take her away, they don't take her to jail, just an institution, but they can only hold her for a couple days of course. The landlord said she would kick her out but Stephanie has nowhere to go. No family, no friends, nothing. She said that everyone who has lived here for a while knows this, and it's usually the newer tenants who complain because they don't know her. She supposedly was switching medications or psychologists and was apparently having a rough time, and that's why she was acting so weird. The landlord explained that we should do our best to ignore Stephanie because she is not harmful, and if you listen to her crap, she will latch onto you and show up at your apartment at all hours to talk...Oh my. Overall the landlord feels bad for her. That makes sense but geez, we all have to go through dealing with her mood swings and shit? Great. Just fucking great.
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