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| Jason's Dad, being silly. |
Rick Wade:
Jason's father. A cowboy at heart, average height, with a big, brown, fluffy mustache. He likes to wear Wranglers and cowboy boots with Hawaiian shirts...
Rick's choice phrase is "Judas Priest!". Judas Priest are a Grammy Award winning English heavy metal band from Birmingham, formed in 1968. Why he uses this name as a forceful tactic to show that he is perturbed, no one knows. It could be at the most random moment when he's upset, although he also uses this choice phrase when he thinks something is funny. When Jason told me about the whole Judas Priest thing, I wasn't sure I believed it. Then we went to visit his family in Colorado...We were outside having a family barbecue, and we started telling jokes. I am not usually very good at getting to the punch-line of jokes, but I decided to try one out.
Me: "So a guy dies and goes to Hell. He meets with the Devil and the Devil starts to take him on a tour of the fiery underworld. He tells the guy he has to choose one form of torture to go through for all of eternity. He takes him all over and there are people getting burned, stretched, poked, all kinds of awful things. Then they come across one room where there is a group of people standing waist deep in shit, drinking coffee. The guy thinks, hey that can't be too bad, just standing in shit drinking coffee all day. So he tells the Devil he wants that one. The Devils says ok, and the guy gets into the shit, and gets his first cup of coffee. Less than 5 minutes later, the Devil comes back and says, 'Ok assholes, coffee break's over! Back on your heads!'"
Without missing a beat, everyone laughed, which I thought was cool because I actually told a joke right, (thanks to MY dad for telling me that one) and then it happened. Rick Wade laughed out loud and said, "Ah Judas Priest that's funny!" It was great. I told him that I was happy to finally get the chance to hear him say it, and Jason said his "I told you so!" and his dad laughed because he never admits to saying his famous phrase. Every time I see him, and we bring it up, he will say with a smile, "What? I don't say that. You guys don't know what you're talking about." He is awesome.
Neil Wilson II:
Neil's father. A white man whose mannerisms and speech could make anyone believe he is black if they weren't looking at him while he talks. Quite a tall man, with curly grey hair. He plays the bongos and used to jam with Santana. Hells yeah, mo fo, he is the real deal an' shit. Neil's dad is one man who does not care whom he curses in front of, and will take his rage from 0 to 10 in mere seconds...
My best friend recalls one late night he was in the car with his father. Neil Wilson II was tired, probably from working and whatnot. Young Neil's mother asked her husband if he could go to Jack in the Box and get her a special burger that she liked, and young Neil said he would like something too, so he would go with his dad. Things were fine and dandy as they drove down the street to the fast food establishment. They pulled into the drive-thru, and started ordering. Little Neil ordered what he wanted, and so did his dad, and then dad ordered for mom. The voice over the loud speaker said, "Sorry we don't have that anymore." And there they were, at zero, then suddenly at 10. A crazed look came across Neil Sr.'s face. Then into the the loud speaker he yelled, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!" and he carried it on all through the drive-thru as he sped off. He didn't stop to get any food, and as they raced through the drive-thru, young Neil could see the horrified look on people's faces, wondering what this old guy's problem was. Neil sunk down in his seat, hoping not to be seen. Needless to say they just went home.
James Gragg:
My father. The king of all bad words. A former hippie, who escaped his home life by riding freight trains with friends. He is average in height, with reddish hair and freckles. He too, gets mad very quickly and doesn't care who sees or hears it. It could happen anytime, anywhere. Whether he's fixing something or playing a video game. (Yes my dad plays video games on Xbox 360).
One time, when I was a little younger, although not much, I think I was in high school or even college, I remember a phrase my dad used, and I will never forget it. It was quite random, and I've never heard it since. He was driving, and we were trying to find something, I don't remember what, but it was kind of important I suppose. We were out on highway 59, and anyone who knows Merced knows that the highway was mostly fields and cement, concrete or gravel/sand companies, with a few houses scattered here and there. My dad was getting agitated. We were looking for a road that we had to turn onto, and we weren't finding it. He started muttering curses under his breath like "Son of a bitch" and "God Dammit". I told him to calm down, we would find it. We saw a road coming up on the right. My dad decided to make the turn onto it. It wasn't what we wanted. It was a dirt road! My dad was mad not only because it wasn't the right road, but he also HATES driving his car on dirt roads. He is very particular about scratches and dents and dirt getting on the car, and dirt roads can fuck a car up. So as usual, out of nowhere, my dad got so angry, that as he was flipping a U-turn to get back onto the main road, he shouted, "WHAT IS THIS?? BUTT-FUCK ROAD??" I'll let you all take that one in for a moment...I can't talk about it or even write about it without laughing my ass off. Like, really dad? What the hell does that even mean? At the time I remained silent, because I knew if I said anything it would just make the situation worse. Later I made fun of him for it like crazy, and he swears like Jason's dad, that he has no recollection of saying it. Wow.
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| My dad...driving...hold on to your hats. |
Top center: Rick wade
Bottom right: James Gragg
Sadly I don't have any pics of Neil's dad. I will post one when I get one.
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